Communication Breakdown

In the current climate of social distancing it has become increasingly difficult to fill our communication needs.  I find myself needing to pause and to be grateful for the means available today that weren’t here just a few years ago.  It is wonderful that I can video conference with my friends and family.  WiFi is amazing and allows us to have unlimited conversation with people all over the world.  I  remind myself often of how difficult it was when I was a teenager staying in Germany with my grandparents for a month back in 2001.  I didn’t have a smartphone and they didn't have a computer.  Overseas calls were very expensive.  As it was, they complained about how much it cost for me to fax letters to my parents and my best friend.  I wanted to send correspondence much more often than they would have liked.  I remember feeling  trapped at times because the ability to communicate with my family was stymied.

Fast forward 19 years and being in another country proves to be no obstacle when communicating overseas.  I spent 3 weeks in Asia last year and didn’t skip a beat with my friends unless I wanted to because I was too busy having fun.  My best friend and I have lived in separate parts of the country on and off for the last 15 years.  She has an easy time when we talk on the phone, it isn’t difficult for her to express her feelings and to tell me what’s going on in her head.  For me, it’s not so easy.  There have been big things that have happened in my life, things she knows a little bit about but wants more information, that are just difficult to talk about over the phone.  If we were in person…If I were in person with anyone…it would be easier.

So I grabbed a mask and a camp chair last week and headed off to a nice spot along the Hudson River.  I decided to write my friend a letter since I am a better writer than talker.  As I was writing, I kept getting distracted by the scenery around me and thoughts of its rich history.  To my left was Mount Beacon, which got its name serving as a signal station where Washington’s men could keep on the watch and signal the arrival of the British.  I couldn't help but think about what it would have been like for those soldiers to communicate. They would have written letters, they didn't have telephones and email.

There’s something about writing your thoughts down that really helps you sort out what actually happened and how you feel about it.  It got me thinking that perhaps people were better off during the mid to late 1700s.  The United States Post Office was up and running in 1775 on the heels of the American Revolution.  Thanks to a certain Benjamin Franklin, people could expect mail to be delivered much quicker than they had experienced in the past, only a week for mail to be delivered between Philadelphia and New York compared to  the previous system of two weeks thru unreliable friends and slaves carrying mail aboard  ships.  Before the United States Postal Service was in operation, it was not uncommon for a person to copy their letter 5 times and send it on 5 different ships, hoping that one of those copies would make it to their loved ones.  Can you imagine how “sorted out” your thoughts and feelings would be by the 5th copy of your handwritten letter?

Even with the vastly improved postal system in the mid to late 1770s, I would imagine one would still be careful with their words.  There wouldn’t be a lot of emotional room within a person for miscommunication, especially if you had to wait a week for your loved one to receive your letter, and then, if they were quick to reply, another week to receive a response.  I would imagine people would try to be very clear with their intentions.  Can you imagine the knot in your belly after sending off a letter to tell someone you loved them for the first time?

Benjamin Franklin has been called “a man of letters.”  He was a man who truly valued communication and believed that people should be able to do it with greater ease.  He did so much to pave the way for us to be able to communicate freely today. What would Benjamin Franklin think of our communication today?  No doubt he would be impressed by the availability and speed, but what about the content?  How would he feel about a generation that was unable to express themselves in complete sentences but also had the ability to freely communicate to the masses every emotional outburst and every unedited thought that passed through their heads?

The destination this thought path led me to was this:  communication is important and valuable.  We have so much available to freely assist us in sharing important information and in building relationships. It is not only a gift but a form of art. One that needs to be appreciated and developed.

You'll have to excuse me now, I have an important letter to finish and drop in the mail.